Today, two people whose opinions I take very seriously said things to me in confidence, about two completely different things. Both of their comments meant a lot to me. One of them was exteremly encouraging to me (had to pop my "pride bubble" so my head wouldn't float away), and the other was very forgiving of something I was feeling responsible for. I needed both of them. I tend to carry emotional weight around a lot more than I should, and politics around events at work, or around music and worship at church, or various musical endeavors etc. tend to weary me quickly. I've had a few weeks of weariness, and I'm ready to let go of some of that. The two comments made to me today helped to push some of that away.
On a seemingly separate note, but very related in my mind, questions of vocation, and just general, "what am I doing?"-ness float around in the front of my head most of the time. I hold them lightly and juggle them playfully as they shift, evolve, recirculate, reincarnate on a daily basis. My imagination about "future" shifts constantly because it's never here yet. My point of view about the "now" part of vocation and "what am I doing" probably shifts just about every bit as drastically and unpredictably as the "future" questions.
Today one of my thoughts was, "I LOVE singing". Solo singing, I mean. I wasn't thinking about singing a solo with "All will be well", "Gloria", or "For the longest time" for instance. It's not that I don't absolutely love singing those things too--but that's not what came to my mind. What came to my mind was my recital a week ago, and the solos in Mozart'z "Requiem" two days ago. I loved the way those songs challenged me in a more technical way. I loved having to work diligently and focused-ly--to feel like I'm making progress on understanding my voice and the parts of my physiology that sing. There are other pieces of my vocation that I love, but today that's the one I celebrated.
Chatboard (0)